I’ve probably said this before but what’s harder than the physical effect of cancer is the mental ones, sure you struggle with all the side effects of chemo but your mental state controls everything after that. It’s been such a struggle to stay the course and not become overwhelmed with it all.

I’m glad to say that the stem cell collection went well this week. They collected 6 million cells, that will be saved for me, and now I get to go home and rest for a couple of weeks before I report to the hospital and check in for an extensive round of chemo that will last for 6 days, within those 6 days the cells in my body will basically be eradicated and on the 7th day my 6 million cells will be given back to me. On that day it will essentially be my new birthdate, as of that day I will have the immune system of a newborn. Isn’t that crazy, I spent 49 years of my life building immunities and in a week it’s all been reset. I will have to retake boosters that were given to me as a child and will also have to retake my covid shots. During the days and weeks after the stem cell transplant, I will need to be careful not to be around too many people since catching a common cold would be difficult for my body to defend itself against.

Talk about adding to the mental stress of all of this. I’m constantly concerned about my health, trying to maintain my strength through workouts, healthy eating, and supplements. I’m always concerned about Ammie, wanting her to spend more time on her well-being. Let’s not even forget the financial strain this all brings, I want to keep adding new clients and bring in more revenue, but it becomes so difficult to do so when you don’t even know if you’ll have the strength to work tomorrow, but even when it comes to business, I have started to take on more work just because I can’t sit back and not work towards my/our goals.

I, and we, have goals. We want to do so much, and I see her working so hard. I want to do the same and find myself limited each time. Can you see how mentally it’s a struggle? And now, I need to worry about catching a “cold” and not knowing if I have even beaten cancer! Something that I will not know for sure for years to come.

The struggle is real and once again, I want to thank all of you that have donated to helping me by choosing to become an anonymous hero on my website, that monthly contribution helps, and I am grateful for it.

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